So, I was just cruising around the internet when I ended up on the Australian Doula College website and the Shamanic Midwifery website (I was browsing longingly through all their courses and intensives). In my travels I found a free download section which led me to this wonderful drum journey. To be completely honest I wasn’t entirely sure what traveling into my womb would actually accomplish but I enjoy people playing drums so I thought ‘Why not?’
Here’s the link if you wanted to give it a go yourself.
I sat on my balcony that has a great view of the lake and where the wind has some fantastic access (I wanted to be in the middle of all this). I set up a little mini altar, basically just for protection – a ‘safe space’ so to speak. The ‘altar’ consisted of my statues of the god and goddess and a daffodil pin that my late great grandmother found a way to give to me. I then did the usual clearing my mind, deep breaths, a drink of water and took some meditation flower essences. I then got comfortable and played the track.
At first, while the lady was explaining what to do, I saw waves of energy (on opening my eyes at the end of the vision I related this to the waves on the lake that the wind was making). I journeyed to my womb to the beat of the drum where I met my inner Goddess. I’d dreamt about her before but never realised who she was – all I knew were the feelings of awe that I had for her. She held out her hand and gave me a gift – it was a fertilised egg. I cried as soon as I realised what it was – I have had the urge to conceive on many occasions but both my partner and I have decided to wait until we’re married however the longer I wait the harder it becomes and the more upset I become at not being able to fulfill what’s in my heart.
At this point I asked “Are you for my highest good?” She was surprised, maybe a little hurt and withdrew a little bit. I told her I was afraid – I confided my fears in her. She told me that my destiny won’t begin until I accept this responsibility.
We danced then; we spun through the wind and tiptoed over the lake. It seemed she was trying to comfort me. She explained to me that the gift is there if I choose to receive it. I finally understood and appreciated that she was me; an older and wiser version. I told her that I would love to accept such a gift especially if it came from her.
Then my vision filled with red – a bright red. Then it slowly changed into the most brilliant blue. I thanked her and said farewell. On returning to my body I opened my eyes to see the sky – I realised how beautiful that hue of blue was and that it was the same blue that was in my vision.
I had this dream a few years back about this lady (I will try and find my journal entry of it and write it down more accurately) – at the time I saw her as a witch. I was in love with this person but she cruelly kept us a part by way of our age meaning we would be at different ages in each life so we couldn’t be together (eg. I would be a teenager, he would be baby etc). Towards the end of the dream we were finally the same age and able to be together – we were so happy but quickly realised the responsibilities involved. I believe this dream was about my current situation with my partner and I – even though I feel ready for a child I probably am not and my partner is far from ready.
I accepted the gift but I believe I’ll get to choose when to use it – possibly she finally saw that I am ready for the responsibility of choosing my own fate in that area as opposed to her keeping control over it.
Either way I’m very pleasantly surprised by the results this drum journey gave me. I’d been struggling with this issue quite a bit recently and this gave me exactly what I needed.